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Robert Mugabe: The Dumbest Man on Earth

IS THERE AN HONEST MAN LEFT IN THE ZIMBABWEAN ARMY?

Surely receiving well wishes from the likeminded in all the lowest levels of Hell, Robert Mugabe, the cancer that has brought the once proud and prosperous nation of Zimbabwe to it’s knees, spent more than one million US dollars on a party to celebrate his 83rd brithday. To say exactly how much this sickening indulgence cost in the national currency is impossible because with annual inflation of 1600% the cost for the party will actually increase notably between the time it starts and ends. 

Mr. Burke wonders if there is an honest man left in the Zimbabwean army who could possibly give a gift to the people of Zimbabwe who have suffered under the demonic reign of this idiot for far too long.  Will someone do the world a favor and send this fool to his eternal reward! 

The Thief in Chief of Zimbabwe recently purchased another gigantic mansion, this one in Malaysia, apparently to escape the stench of the rotting corpse of a country that once was the bread basket of Africa.

Mugabe’s Newest Mansion

Surviving Zimbabwe’s runaway inflation 
 
Bread is now so expensive that only the rich can afford to eat it
A Zimbabwean student, who asked to remain anonymous, told the BBC News website how she copes with living in a country with runaway inflation.

According to official figures, Zimbabwe’s annual inflation rate now stands at 1593% - the world’s highest.

The cost of absolutely everything in Zimbabwe has gone up. I am a student and my bus to the campus has trebled in price in the last two months. The cost of a meal has increased tenfold.

Most people have had to remove bread, milk, meat and eggs from their daily diets as these things are just too expensive now.

The implications of this rise in inflation are very serious. What it really means is the poor are getting even poorer.
 
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1.  THE JIHAD ISN’T ABOUT THE WAR IN IRAQ.

In 1979 America’s president was Jimmy Carter.  By undermining the Shah, Carter had helped the Islamic revolutionaries to sieze power in Iran. Yet one million Iranians,  organized by the revolutionary Islamic regime, filled the streets of Tehran chanting “Death to America.”

 2.  THE JIHAD ISN’T ABOUT ISRAEL.

Significant Jihad groups can be found today in Indonesia, the Phillippines, Thailand, Kashmir, Chechnya, Nigeria, and other countries that have no conceivable quarrel with Israel.  Even the Jihadis’ quarrel with Israel is not about borders or “occupation” but about the expulsion of all non-Islamic peoples from the Middle East. 

3. THE JIHAD ISN’T ABOUT AMERICA.

Long before American troops entered Afganistan and Iraq, the first modern Jihad movement, the Muslim Brotherhood, was founded in Egypt in 1928.  The Jihad ideology that fuels modern terror activity is identical to the Jihad ideology that justified Islam’s aggressive wars for centuries before America existed.

4. THE GOAL OF JIHAD IS WORLD DOMINATION.

The creation of a unified Islamic state, which will ultimately encompass the globe, is the stated goal of Jihad.

5. THE IDEOLOGY OF THE JIHAD TERRORISTS IS DEEPLY ROOTED IN ISLAM.

Today’s jihadis use the Qur’an and the words and deeds of Muhammad to justify their actions.  They present their views as ”pure Islam,” and convince many Muslims that that’s what it is.

6.  THE JIHAD IDEOLOGY DEMANDS THE KILLING OF “INFIDELS” (NON-MUSLIMS) OR THEIR CONVERSION TO ISLAM OR THEIR SUBJUGATION AS INFERIORS UNDER ISLAMIC LAW.

All the orthodox sects of Sunni and Shi’ite Islam, as well as all the schools of Islamic jurisprudence, teach the necessity of Jihad warfare and the subjugation of non-Muslims under Islamic law.  Non-Muslims are denied equality of rights under that law in numerous ways.

7.  THE JIHAD IS ADVANCING THROUGH SUBVERSION AS WELL AS VIOLENT MEANS.

Attempts to compel Western governments to adopt laws outlawing blasphemy in the wake of the Danish cartoon riots are part of a larger effort to bring Islamic law to the West and to subordinate its Christian, Jewish, and secular populations to Islam.

8.  THE JIHAD IDEOLOGY INSTITUTIONALIZES THE OPPRESSION OF WOMEN.

Islamic law legalizes wife-beating, denies the equality of a woman’s testimony with that of a man, mandates that women are not even to leave the house without permission, along with numerous other oppressive regulations.

9.  THE JIHAD IDEOLOGY INSTITUTIONALIZES THE OPPRESSION OF NON-MUSLIMS.

Under the traditional Islamic law that Jihadis fight to restore, non-Muslims must pay a special tax, not hold authority over Muslims, not build or repair their houses of worship, and many other regulations designed that the “feel themselves subdued” (Qur’an 9:29)

10.  THE JIHAD IS A THREAT TO ALL FREE PEOPLE.

The Jihad ideology denies freedom of conscience.  Jihadis take to heart Muhammad’s dictum, “If anyone changes his religion, kill him,” and deny Muslims any freedom to convert or have no religion at all.  The Jihadis would extinguish equality of the sexes, equality of rights before the law, freedom of conscience, and more.  All free people should resist them.

Anna seen pounding booze, and her room was full of pills

BY ANGELA MOSCONI in Hollywood, Fla.
and CARRIE MELAGO in New York
DAILY NEWS WRITERS
 
Anna Nicole Smith’s final days were a booze-fueled frenzy that ended in a hotel room so stocked with meds that it resembled a “pharmacist’s shop,” according to reports.
While an autopsy performed yesterday could not immediately determine what killed Smith, witnesses who saw the troubled bombshell in the days before her death say she was partying and falling-down drunk.

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Utah gunman, 18, was Muslim from Bosnia
Killed 5 in crowded shopping mall before being gunned down
The 18-year-old gunman who killed five people in a crowded Utah shopping mall was a Bosnian Muslim refugee who was prepared to kill many more, say investigators.

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“Jews are apes and Christians are pigs!” So say Saudi school textbooks in Saudi-funded school in England!

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Loopey Scientologists Think Tom Cruise is the Messiah

According to a report in the UK Sun, some Scientology leaders believe Tom Cruise is the “Christ of Scientology“. Flabbergasted after reading such a claim, we decided to send a group of undercover agents to investigate the dark recesses of the Los Angeles Church of Scientology in order to seek clues. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence and we obtained it! Our wily agents gained entrance into the fortress by feigning interest in being “audited” and were quickly able to escape unnoticed into the darkness of the church basement. Prying open the safe, our agents were shocked to discover Leopold Da Vinnie’s famous painting, “The Scientologist’s Last Supper“. It clearly shows Tom Cruise as Christ, but leaves several other questions unanswered. For instance, who is the mysterious woman seated to His left and why is she smiling like that? Could she be his…gasp…wife? Is that a Jenny Craig-approved cupcake Kirstie Alley is grabbing? John  is wearing loafers and he’s floating - what does this mean? How did Will Smith get mixed up with this bunch? So many questions, so few answers.

This post is provided by the brilliantly satirical mind behind the GalleryoftheAbsurd.com